wig-maker Diana Tessler revealed there's a market for chest falsies for men who hate to be caught hairless on the beach. Someone suggested she make up a chest toupee as a gag. She said she had plenty customers already-and they looked for real. . . .

An English doctor sez cancer more common among bald men, suggests that hormones which cause hair growth may affect

cancer. . . .

Leonard Cohen reported in NY Post seeing surrealist Salvador Dali ogling the physiques of a group of basketballers in a TV studio, saying, "They have such beautiful bodies. Why do they cover them up with those ugly uniforms?" Told that colored uniforms help players recognize respective teams, Salvador recommended applying paint directly to their birthday suits as cheaper and more aesthetic. . . .

Kiplingers' recently expressed relief that with all their faults, men at least don't kiss when they meet on the street.... Shame, tho. ... Czeck paper Zmedelske Noviny said Russia's Mikoyan won his "terrific" American popularity in Hollywood by kissing "top actress" (sic) Jerry Lewis....

According to the gutter-bumping Melbourne Truth, "The number of men with squeaky voices on those socialite beaches on the Mornington Peninsula these weekends have to be heard to be believed. The fellow at Portsea last Sunday wearing primrose trunks, eye shadow and false lashes was too, too "...

Some of the beafcake-nudie foto studios have gone educational. Customers, or "dear collectors," are told that pics will be available only to legit art, fotog or anatomy students or teachers. In case any collectors feel they can't honestly sign a statement so describing them-

selves, they can get legit by taking a $20 correspondence class, supplied by the studio, to make them art students, so they can keep on collecting. . .

Columnist Hal Boyle sez American males spend 8 million more a year than females dousing themselves with sweet scents.

AP wirefoto while back shows 2 male-type Navy divers in Arctic, all rubbered up in fancy new diving gear, identified as men from the icebreaker, USS Burton Island. Caption: "Couple of Arctic Mermaids." Well, they did look kinda cute, but nothing like fish. . . .

REAL BUTCH, MAN

Then there was all this jazz about juvenile delinquency. Everybody had their sayso, including the bit that most all crime stems from sex repression (so if we stop repressing the homosexual and pederastic instincts, ipso facto, no more juvenile delinquency). Plus a lot of hot air by and about beatniks-having trouble enuf just holding on to their pads. . . . Sumtotal of all this breeze wouldn't be worth casting to the swine....

Also some cute talk about alcoholics, like the SC School of Biz prof studying if alcoholism comes from vitamin shortage, or the SFrisco gynecologist who said skinny, bushy haired people were potential alkys....

1959 had a lot of advise for the American male, who by general consent had about lost his last shred of masculinity. Playwright Wm. Inge asks why nobody seems to care what women are losing. "Can it be that we have become so accustomed to the unfeminine woman that we feel no concern? Or that our ideal for woman is not feminine?"

The chorus went on deprecating the male. In TRUE, Dr. I. H. Harris